Why choose a career in Blogging?

blogging, inspiration

This is my first post as the proud owner of a Premium WordPress account and I’m very excited for the journey ahead. Trust me I am under no illusion that this will be an easy journey, but making a success story out of this will be a victory not only for me, but for anybody who chooses to take their future into their own hands and create something to be proud of and hopefully survive out of.

As it stands, I already live my life walking on the thin line between Bravery and Stupidity. It may be called stupidity because I am currently still a Law student, all I have to do is stick to it and complete my studies, get my degree, and let Life lead me into a respectable profession that would probably guarantee me a stable living, as well as bring much honour to my family simply for having a lawyer for a son.

But I choose to call it Bravery. I’m still just pushing through the learning phases to becoming that honourable lawyer, but what value does honour and respect have when I go through the entire year suffering from depression caused by the sucking out of my life and replacing it with a promise of stability?

My housemate, who later became a close friend laughed at me once during a conversation with the gents. He referred to the fact that coming to this point in my studies, I have studied Politics and Law, both which tried to teach me how to survive in the system. he laughed at the fact that instead of adhering to the structure that was being laid for me, I was instead focused on trying to Beat the system.

He was right. I am trying to beat the system. I was born in a black South African family two years after the end of Apartheid. My mother was one of eight children and she studied and became a nurse. I’d say she did well enough that by the time my older sister and I left High School, she was able to put us both into University. My sister now studies Medicine and I study Law.

You would think that this is a beautiful success story in itself, but you have to ask yourself why I chose to study Law in the first place, or even better, ask yourself why I chose to continue my studies further by going to University.

Well, long-story-short, A black child in Africa is not really given a choice. Very few people like me have the option to leave school and go join Daddy in the family business. Coming out of school and not going to University is automatically seen as a failure. I’m not trying to blame anybody here, that’s just how the system works.

But we live in the 21st century here – the age of the Internet – and while most people turn to the internet for entertainment, for news gossip, NetFlix and cute kittens on YouTube, there is another world of people who have made the internet into their very own Work Space. The world is growing faster through technology, you can either complain about it, or turn to face the music…my friend added another option, “..or you can dance to it”.

And that’s exactly what I’m trying to do by pursing a Career in Blogging…I’m trying to dance to the music. I love writing, it’s still a raw talent, but this is my platform and opportunity to harness and develop it and myself. If you find yourself being carried by the wind of Life, floating in unhappiness and dissatisfaction, I suggest you commit a situational suicide.    Don’t hear me wrong, I’m not saying kill yourself, but I am offering you the opportunity to kill whatever situation is causing you dissatisfaction or depression.

There is a belief going around that Millennials are lazy and entitled. They say we have no patience and they practically label us as unfit for the Workplace. Well, I think they may be right. We are not fit for the Workplace because we grew up in the technological era. We adopted our personalities from movie characters and television, when one thing began to bore us, we would simply change the channel and find what was right – we lost the attention span as a result. But for everything that we are NOT in the workplace or in the current society, there is something that we are in the online world.

The old systems are failing us, so it’s time to make a change. I don’t want to watch my time fly away because I was too busy trying to please somebody who was already comfortable in his own system that was tailor made for him. Let’s become entrepreneurs, let’s become creators, let’s build our own system that our grandchildren will try to escape out of.


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Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

distance, Friendship, Love, miss you, Relationships

They say Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I guess that’s an obvious result of all the time that we spend in wonder. Because now that you’re away, all I do is ponder, I can’t clear my mind from the thoughts of you, the memories and the fears that continuously rain into my head causing a stormy thunder. I miss you.


It took me a while to stop fighting the fact within myself that I’m missing you. It’s only been a day without you, but a day without my best friend, the person I spend everyday with is more than I can handle at this moment in time.

I remember you were on your phone and I was on mine. We were not even talking but your presence was warm enough. You turned and let it out, “You’ll miss me when the year ends and we go our separate ways.”     And yet the danger didn’t quite register, that we live practically on opposite ends of the country, because we still continued to live as if tomorrow would never come.


Five Things I Hate About Missing Someone Special:

1. My Own Insecurities

I guess I have to start with my own insecurities because most of my problems come from the fact that I overthink too much. I create scenarios in my head, like what if you bump into so-and-so and go out on a wild night and end up doing something that could leave my heart broken?

I create so many fictional scenarios, but the biggest problem is the fact that whenever the thought is bad, it always seems much realer than my good thoughts. Ouch!

And after reconsideration of the first point, I’ve realized that I won’t actually be sharing FIVE THINGS I HATE ABOUT MISSING SOMEONE SPECIAL , instead I will share One thing – which is my Insecurities, and then the other four will be examples of the insecurities. Let’s go!

2. What’s going on in your head?

So I’ve already mentioned what happens in my head when I’m missing you. Now I’m left here wondering, Are you also missing me the same way I miss you? I wonder if you are having fun doing all the things you do with your family and friends back home. Obviously I want you to have a great time, but I just wish somewhere in there you spare some time to think of me.

I hope you’re also holding yourself back from clicking my number on the phone and calling me for the third time today. Well, I already clicked the button, took me straight to voicemail, so I hope the first thing you do when you see my missed call is get back to me and break me out of this craze of uncertainty.

3. Who’s texting you trying to “catch up”?

You’ve been out of the city and away at University, far from home, far from all your friends that you left behind and all the others who chose different paths. But now is that time of the year, everybody is back home for the festive season. There’s going to be a lot of high school reunions, especially with the way you loved your days in School.

And I know how guys think. Someone is going to look at you and see how much you have grown and how beautiful you’ve become. So I just hope you will be able to tell the difference from the wolves and the sheep, even if they suddenly seem to wear the same clothing.

I’m even starting to think about those nerdy dudes that you had little crushes on back in primary school. What if they rock up and take you back to memories that I cannot compete with, get you lost and naive, and then you make mistakes that leave me weak?

4. What if the journey proves too long?

I once dated a beautiful girl who lived in another city, so we did the whole Long-Distance relationship thing. At the time I trusted much easier because I focused my trust on me and her. But I remember someone once asked me, “Dude, your girlfriend is so hot, she gets asked out by multiple times daily…What are the odds that in a year of 365 days, she will say NO each and everyday?”     haha, at the time I didn’t let it affect me. But after a confusing Break up which I did not see coming, I started to suspect that somebody had planted a bad seed in my beautiful garden, or worse, had eaten from it.

And so that is one of the many things that linger in my mind today, What if you just cannot hold on to the promise that we will get back to each other soon? I learnt not to lean too much on yesterday’s victories because today’s problems attack today’s mindset, so I hope you’ll still be strong enough to endure the temptations.

5. What if you start to see how imperfect I am?

I’m so far from perfect but you treat me like I’m one in a million. I’m so far from perfect and I’m scared that you might actually start seeing it by looking at the previous four points above. Does it make me look emotionally weak? does it make me less of a man?

I take comfort in these fears from a song by the singer Passenger, the lyrics claim, “They say fear is for the brave – The cowards never stare it in the eye”…And I hate to expose you here, but you did say that his music bored you when I payed it for us, so maybe you will also think his views on bravery are just as skewed.

And what about my many other flaws? you might start to see them clearer now that you have stepped out of the box a little. Now that you are out of the smoke room, you might be able to smell the fire and slowly start to lose your desire for this thing that we have, and maybe even acquire a taste of a different kind of guy dressed some flashy attire…



Author’s Perspective

Thank you for stopping by to read this Post on “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”. As you can see, I’ve adopted here, the view that this “fondness” comes from fear. I am pretty sure that I will learn more on this when the time is due. But right now, I think TRUST is all that I would have to apply to deal with these insecurities and fears. What do you think? Please find the comment button if you have some advice or reaction. Thank you.

 

Live Your Life like a Movie!

Identity, inspiration, life, life choices, lifestyle, philosophy, reality, self acceptance

Ah I’m back home and glad to be because I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on my pen – figuratively, because this is the new age and I pick my pen, in all shapes and sizes from this option on my computer screen. Look how much we have developed, from “times are hard” to doing hard time for choosing the wrong words on the wrong comment section during your pass times.

I just wanted to tell you about what we did with my home boys during the weekend. We shot the stars down and lit up the moon with the flames from exhaust fumes that cut through the ozone layer and produced a hole in the system for us to pounce through. Why? Well everyone else is doing it. America did and became the greatest nation of our time. And now is our time, yes our time and we spend it online. So blame it on me if suddenly all the kids are finding ways of keeping up with the demands of this life you gave us, breaking out of your system that keeps us locked up in four-corner walls. Well we have become so accustomed to being stuck in a box, but we prefer to stay in the walls of our homes and hopefully make some money off the internet. At least this way we remain in the comfort of our loved ones with less fake friends and more time to make mistakes and make amends.

I too was once critical. Stuck in an old fashioned mindset that I don’t even know from whence I got it. But now look at me, I’m awake and walk with my eyes open and see that this is exactly how you said it was going to be.  Oh, You didn’t say it? Well then the lady on the television and that one guy who once acted in a Bruce Lee movie said it. And I take it that when you left us at home alone with nothing but the TV for company, you elected all those adults as your representatives, the elected guardians and now I live my life like an action movie, Love like a Romantic Comedy and hope that after doing all the dumb things I’m about to do, I’ll still end up with a happy ending as always…

See, every movie has a Main Character, that Star Player like Messi in Barcelona, and for these guys there’s always a happy ending in waiting. This Main Character might go through some struggles just like the other characters, maybe just as a way of diverting our attention from the fact that He is different and destined for greatness, admiration and ultimately, Survival. Well, that’s who I’m going to be. I’m tired of spending my precious time watching useless YouTube videos, Indulging in insane Hollywood movies and Listening to perfectly pitched Music Videos, No, I’ve made my decision. You asked me what I wanted to be, well I hope you really meant, what “I” want to be…because now I’ve made my decision, I wanna be the star of my own Movie. That is, My Life.

And yes, for every Main Character there is a whole bunch of people that join him on the journey. Some stay for the long run, sometimes even getting lucky enough to share in the success story at the end. And sometimes, the supporting characters are just diversions as I already mentioned, some are just examples and they fail and die away without any sympathy from the viewers nor the producers and directors – clearly.

And well, if my destiny proves to not be attached to me on that victory lap at the end and I find myself being nothing more than a side-act in somebody else’s movie, then let me stop trying to fight for the unfightable, let me stop trying to be something I’m not and just accept my fate and do whatever reckless stunt is expected of me and die my death, in perfect timing, and allow the movie to go on as planned, with me forgotten, left on the floor rotten while Isaac Newton comes only a day later to see another apple fall off from the tree and come up with an epiphany and just as usual, my lack of timing leave my name lost in time as a fading memory…yeah, that’s it…let me pick my stick one more time, until the next time and let’s see what’s mine and what’s not.

Out Of My Mind!

fiction, mental, Short Story

Once upon a time there lived a boy, a naughty boy, a little boy with nothing in his hands but trouble on the double. One golden morning our naughty little boy set out on an adventure to destroy the peace. He said to himself, “oh look how all these folks go through life with ease. If I can’t have my piece, I’ll fill their tanks with flees!”

So the little boy started on his journey of evil. He stopped by the gates of the yellow cottage on the hillside that was the home of Mrs Widow Kensworth. He shouted, “Little old lady, Little old lady, Come out Come out I have a treat for you. Bring me your dog and today alone I will give him a wash for no Penny”

He did this jumping from house to house, yard to plot and by the break of noon he had collected enough flees to fill the bucket at his knees. A few minutes of rest will do, he said to himself, having shown great determination to disrupt the pleasant joy in this comfy little town.

You see, this little naughty boy that lived once upon a time was a city boy. He had travelled with his mother from town to town, always being forced to move because his mother’s work was apparently “unorthodox” (whatever that means)…He had heard this description of his mother’s work from his friend Rufus back when they lived in Handercliff-town. Rufus overheard his father spreading the news to his mother over dinner and the round table…

Anyway, yes, he was a city boy you see, and he liked the fast and uncertain life that those folks live that side. And since they were always moving, him and his mother, he became rather lonely and began giving up on ever making friends if it only meant that he would leave them a couple of months after growing fond and a bond with them.

Eyyy, pssssttt!!! it’s supposed to be “his mother and him”…and I’m not lonely, I just really think this place is boring and I’d like to give them a little something to get their blood pumping…haha, IF you know what I mean *WINK*

Woah, WHAT? HOW? WHO’s DOING THAT?!!

It’s me mate, I’m doing it. You’re doing it to be exact, but practically I’m the one doing it. Here’s a suggestion, Try making me sound less like some antient Medieval folktale…Give me an I-phone and a Kim Kardashian, come on man, I’m your imagination…live a little!

First of all, Who are you?

I’m the little naughty boy. You know, the one you didn’t even bother to name. Thanks a lot Einstein…

You’re the naughty Boy in the story that I’m writing?

Yes mate, Come on, Don’t act like this is the first time you’ve ever spoken to yourself. Just because I came now in the form of a fancy little character you were trying to create, doesn’t mean I’m any less realer than any of your other thoughts…

Wow, I never thought I’d ever have one of my stories talk back to me, this is weird. should I be worried? Ahh man, now for sure I’m going crazy! *SIGH*…How did this happen?

Ah dude, I wasn’t here for a Q and A session. I only wanted to suggest that you put me in the next scene with an actual babe instead of some Granny in a cottage bro, Come on!!

Haha, I like the feel of that story, You just had to be patient and wait until the end of the story and stop being like everyone else who likes jumping to conclusions, and even worse, like the rest of the other thoughts that come out of my head without even giving each other a chance to finish and me a chance to breathe and catch some air, and have some peace…man, why doesn’t anyone ever just let me have my piece?

Damn! Chill bro. I’m only here because you believe in me so much. I am a figment of your imagination, I’ve been in your head for so long and now you finally took the time to write about me. And when you wrote about me, you probably allowed me to manifest and I just had to take my opportunity man. As you said, those thoughts in your head don’t play fair, so I thought I’d just pop up and ask that you give me a few nice things to go back with you know, just until the next time you think about me…

Ya well I’m sure you know that I don’t really have much control over what happens in there man. And I’m sure there are some rules, or at least there should be some rules against words talking back to their author or whatever you are…

Hells Yeah there are rules bro! Haha But read up, you’re the one who said I’m a naughty Boy..Haha, So I guess this is me pouring flees into your tea pot too hehe…Now Give me a name, It will help you remember me, Please bro…

Okay, here’s your name, Fold! Now do as your name and Fold back to where you came from!

 

 

 

 

Times have Changed. Here’s an Update.

life, lifestyle, Love

My child, I have traveled the ends the world many a times, seen the depths of a man’s heart deeper than even the greatest ocean would ever dare to surf. Love? I have known and lost. If you were to come in here tomorrow at dawn asking of hope, I can split your heart apart and put it together again by the end of moonlight and you would never care to partake in another of that meaningless chatter that you youths indulge yourselves in these days. You waste precious effort allowing contraction in your throat in the name of small talk. You have wronged, indeed by walking up to me with such a tame excuse of a presentation which I can assure any strange man on the street that you went through mars and all of the milky way in construction and deconstruction, addition and erasing, next time you would do best to think less and ask not, for I will not even bother to breathe a word of response with regard to your concerns.

But father, no, Dad…All my friends will be there and this event will be the decider of my reputation, not only for the rest of this year but also going into college next year. Even the lamest of the lames may create names for themselves this weekend. Spenser has just gone through a break up with that girl from next province and he has made it known that he will be on the lookout for a new love at this very event and I have a feeling he has got in his mouth a taste for a girl of my texture and type, you know, the kind that shies away from the hype, doesn’t get high and is bolted firmly into her roots.

You dare speak of bolts and roots and still bear the nerve to stand in your muddy boots and argue with me? If indeed this boy tingles for a mannered girl, you have proven in this very moment that you are not that. Let us then speed up the process, save ourselves senseless therapeutic sessions and pity stories when your disillusioned plans plummet into fumes and leave this entire household in the despair with the next excuse which you will mistakenly label as heartbreak. please and thank you…let us abandon this.

You know what you must do? call up a good friend and spend this time rather, in the comfort and safety of this lovely home your mother and I have worked tirelessly to build for your development and all else. Trust me, the time will come when you will know the true meaning of sacrifice and loss. Which reminds me, not that I could ever forget, of the brave young men who give up fear and aimless daydreams to stand firm in their numbers for the honor of defending their country and all its peoples, now those are the kind of men who can even dare to speak of preference. Especially when talking about women who are firmly tailored and mannered in their culture. Nothing in this world is just given, nothing that if truly of value is ever begged for, and lousy and shameless is a man who cries for respect when he fails even in the slightest of ways to inspect himself, his doings of past and his doings now, before he decides upon himself a position to make demands as if he has earned even the right to attain attention, not to mention, the affection of a woman with direction, devotion and well groomed dedication.

I am sorry to offer you a teaching as my elder and parent, for indeed you have earned in your time, the right and position to speak and be heard. But it is unfortunate and therefore, correct for me to give you an update. For the times have changed, this I may reveal unto you old wise man. Yes, times have gone and birth has been given to an era anew. Let today be the day that we wash the windows as I give you a new lens to apply onto your eyes. I am not of those brave young men who stand on the front line with our flag and frankly I am quite content if not ecstatic for that matter. I have grown with my eyes open, looking outward first before inward because out there there is the world. I am able to stand with my chest in bulk because I have learned the ways of the modern woman. In no way has she lost her value, however, it is her who has given up its application for the thrill of a wild ride out by the seashore where her hair can follow her as she throws her hands in the air screaming, ” I don’t care”. And you may look at this and nod not, but I put no blame on these modern ladies because I concur that it was your generation and the people of its time that put those unjustifiable constraints on the poor female. so what if honor be lost? at what cost? for it was freedom that was sacrificed and with freedom stolen, no being would be able to hold on to pain for so long…

 

 

The technology in the Online/Blogging World.

marketing, Networking, websites

I never actually thought that it would come to this. Well I always knew it was there, but I just always thought that I would somehow find enough cracks to avoid having to go through the struggle.

What is the struggle you ask? Technology. you know, computers and websites and all these other things that other people my age just simply push a few buttons and create in a flash.

When I started at University in my first year as a Law student, one of our modules was based on preparing students for the research part of the degree. We were set up into smaller groups and had sessions in a computer lab where we were walked through a few sites that would be useful to us throughout our time not only as students, but allegedly also when we would eventually become practitioners.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I made sure to pay attention and crammed three easy-to-use sites and I thought I would be sorted for the rest of my life. It’s the end of my third year now and I can say that those sites were more than enough. pheeew!

But then last year I started blogging. I created this site easily enough with the help of the structures that were already available on WordPress and I haven’t been bothered with the technical side of things ever since.

But now my Blog on the free domain has grown just as much as I had hoped it would have in a year, and so, my time on the free domain is coming to a grateful end as I am now planning on an upgrade to subscribe to the Premium account as my route to monetize my blog.

And as a result, I get to say sadly, “Here I am again”.  I have to learn new tricks on how to create the perfect site for myself and my readers. I have to learn how to add those buttons that when you click them, you automatically land on my Instagram page, or get a direct link to a relevant blog post, and eventually also add that button that will offer you, my dear readers, the opportunity to pay for any of the awesome services or products that I will create and make available for you in due course.

I’m optimistic. But right now I cannot help but give myself a great slap on the forehead for this stupid glitch in my skill set. As I laugh at myself to hide the tears inside, I’m gonna have to sit myself down for a minute or two just to ask, “WHY?” why did you watch the world growing into the online world while you were stuck being Old-school and Original? that’s so uncool and look at your restrictions now.

But it’s Okay, I’m so eager to make this blogging thing work, I’m going to dedicate – I don’t know how many hours, but all of my powers to break into this industry, brace yourselves, I’ll be bringing more of what I’ve been doing, bringing little more Psychology, Philosophy, Life Revelations, Coming of Age, and also letting you know how my new journey in Online Marketing and Marketing strategies is going and so on and so on…Peace and much Love.

Love is not Enough

Friendship, Love, Relationships

Love is stronger than most, when I’m lost, getting back to you is the force behind my motive. Love reminds me that I’ve got to get in motion, to get back to you in order to overcome the constant, almost torturing thoughts of you that beautifully and frighteningly torment me from the inside-out.

And it’s this beautiful fear that makes me say that love is not enough. You know how my thoughts love to wander, you’ve heard how my tongue sometimes stutters, and you’ve seen how my eyes uncontrollably linger in places that they probably shouldn’t. And what about my fingers, my hands just want to hold on to anything that presents itself as an opportunity…no, love is not enough.

Everything is an art. Science is an art, and art is a science. Nothing is just, and that’s because everything needs understanding. And how can you understand something? Well, you have to put the pieces together if you want that.

And that’s why love is not enough. Love is just another piece in the puzzle. Love is probably the biggest and most important, and don’t forget, rarest piece in the puzzle. Love is not enough because one day I’m not going to be around to hold your hand and make you feel safe in my arms. My presence won’t be around in every moment to keep the predators away. I’m not always going to be near to keep your emotions intact. And sadly, I’m not always going to be there to play along with your fantasies and make you believe that you and I can really take on this big old world together. no.

And when I’m gone, I am going to need to know that I am not forsaken. You know I always need to know that I’m not being taken for granted. I’m going to need to trust that your loyalty was not simply being paid for by the convenience of my availability. And you will also need that trust. That when I’m gone, no matter the miles ahead, nor the time in between will prove too tempting when I begin to run empty on the memories of your comforting smile and all the beautiful things you do unintentionally, effortlessly and unknowing that those are the things that keep me running back to you before nightfall each day.

Yes, the things that you do unintentionally. I’m talking about all the little sacrifices that go a long way at filling the gaps in one another that make us feel so much stronger when we are together. The way you always choose the kind route when I’m so fixed on being right, and whatever it is that I do that carries you through the tears of a stressful day. I’m telling you, love is not enough.

Patience in my times of worry, humility over your pride, these are the things we need to carry in every stride. Jealousy is cute when it shows that you care, but you always show gratitude for my littlest efforts. I swear these things give me comfort. Confront me when I have wronged you even just a little, because communication once saved a nation I tell you. Silly jokes and tickles to remind us of our youth, let’s just enjoy all of these and friendship because love is not enough.

being Human BEING

human being, Identity, truth

It’s another beautiful morning and I wake up once again with the same addictions that I went to bed trying to get rid of. I can’t see the end, no. There’s no light in this tunnel, but hey, it’s another day and no matter what has been carried over from the last, I’ve still got life, still got you and your love, what more can one ask for.

I can never say I’m losing my mind because I’ve never really had control. I guess I just spend too much time worrying about my impact. forgetting that I am only one in a billion, neglecting the present, the gift that is today, packaged sincerely for me to be the best human being that I am.

yes. Human being. not Human becoming, nor human been. I can never say I’m losing myself because you will always be what you are being. If I’m lost, then being lost is who I am and I’ll just have to deal with that. You know, they say actions speak much louder than words. The lost can talk about being found, but the found sleep at home every night. That’s being Human being.

I always wonder about life and the fabrics of existence. I don’t want to speak profanely about the structures of the world because they are real and one who lives beyond their boundaries will fall into our rejected bin of outcasts. But I can’t seem to stop thinking about my default position in this life. If I let go of everything and allow myself to free-fall from this place where I’m trying to create something, down to the place that is made for me. The default position, the place where I don’t have to do anything but simply be.

But I don’t know how to act in a drought. So what if I let go and find myself living without? I guess that’s why it’s called default. If I go out of my way to find my default, would it really be my default? Or will it be a position that I chose to find?

Or is it just fear talking? fear taking over my mental now that I find myself in a position to create the life that I’ve been prepared and preparing for all this time? An honest opinion once told me that I worry too much, fearful of failure in this life which I once thought I had at my feet. But now I’ve got my head in the clouds, can’t feel my feet on the ground, so how do I know if I’m still on the path?

I’m crying out to the oppressor, “hey, you missed one. this one didn’t turn into a robot. It’s not content with the cubical, it’s not a political radical, it’s starting to sound a little cynical…” oh snap! I think I should stop there before they start seeing that I’m dysfunctional.

Mr President, it’s been done. Africa has been cleaned up. We managed to get the women thinking and they did the dirty work for us. We educated the African woman our way, empowered her with eyes to see the savagery that is hidden in the lies of the male of her species. It took us many o’ years, but eventually she broke free from his control, reproduction levels decreased, charity for the poor seized to exist, so they were easy to wipe out. It was easy still. The black male is good for nothing, driven only by passion he manged to imprison the woman through her emotions…but that was nothing a little education could not change. For many years the woman has been secretly crying for power, as soon as we gave her that in Africa, nullifying her hormonal need for the male was made easy by job satisfaction, and eventually erased through the granting of power over the savage. It’s only a matter of time until the last of them are gone from the face of the earth. We’ll speed up the process with a little more Hollywood and drug substance availability, we’ll use that very passion against him.

Chris, I saw what you wrote about the African woman. It’s simultaneously saddening and frightening to see that you think like that. Are you trying to say that the empowerment of the African woman will spell the end of the African male? I thought you were much smarter than this. This is the sort of backward thinking that has held our people enslaved by outdated custom and misleading ideologies. I’d advise you to reconsider your position on this matter before you completely discredit yourself as a rational thinking member of society and ultimately end your writing career before it has even begun. Think deeply about it my boy, you have a promising future ahead, don’t let this be the end of it.

I’m sorry Miss Jackson, I am for real. I can’t avoid the zeal that I have for the truth, I’m looking beyond face value, examining the principalities and the cracks in it. You see, growing up I was always told that I was bound for failure. But still I made it through the grades until now I’m almost touching a Law degree. I realise now that I was not meant to make it through the system that was constructed to stop people like me. people like me being the ones they love to label as having fallen through the cracks. Well I was in the cracks but instead of falling, I climbed. Unseen in the mist of the darkness that was foreseen for my future, I made it out. But now I’m looking at the world and it’s time for me to out into the light. It was only when I came out to finally see the sun, and at first glance it hurt me and I realised that I was disillusioned all along.

Why does honesty have to come at such a hefty expense? It’s as if they want us to continuously live in suspense, unknowing the conditions that we are fighting through. Globalisation and urbanisation is our reality in Africa. But look at how many of our men are turning out. An African man has to turn to homosexuality in order to be accepted as less of a threat in this world order. I’m watching the American movies, there is always that one awesome “gay black best friend”. Are they openly trying to advertise to us that we are more useful for society when we play a helping role instead of becoming leaders?

 

 

Know me.

confession, emptiness, Identity

You don’t know me baby. i ain’t perfect baby, you know I wanna be be perfect baby, but look how i slur my words baby.

Look how i’m forgetting You, getting lost in my thoughts thinking the world revolves around me… even forgetting my capitals baby. i’m surprised that i even remembered my full stops this one time.

You don’t know me baby. i want you to know me and speak only the truths about me but i can’t even be honest baby. i want us baby, i want oneness with you and my spirit but i can’t seem to bear the onus baby.

i’m singing the chorus baby, to a song that reflects on my life, I’m twenty one with the future supposedly within my grasp baby. But will i take it? Maybe. The world is cheering for us baby.

But you don’t know me baby. i’m aging into a man but i’m still clumsy like a baby. Caught in my own lie baby, i can’t hold on to anything let alone my beliefs, maybe that’s the reason i find no relief baby.

But i’m gonna try to stay positive baby. i hope this confusion will be brief and end before i throw me or my future off a cliff baby.

i’m waiting for Life to be gentle because like the centre of the world, i’m going mental baby. Look at my dental baby, i’m afraid that soon i won’t be able to handle beef, biting more than i can chew with these fleeting fillings in my emptiness, it’s only a matter of time before i get exposed for a bark with no bite baby.

But you don’t know me baby. Psycho man don’t know me either. Close ones neither. How long till i wither? Check the weather baby, as long as it still rains pain i’ll be staying inside baby.

Longing

God, heaven, spirit

Talk to me about the spirit. Enlighten me. I grow ever closer to the world and further away from God, so I need to be reminded of his Glory.

C.S Lewis made an anology of the weight of Glory. Imagine yourself enjoying a beautiful sunset on the horizon. You admire it’s beauty from afar. Creative minds are crazy because they always try to connect with nature…I need you to put on this mindset.

So there you are, falling in love with a beautiful, orange sunset in the sky. But this love affair feels so one-sided because as much as you stare at this beauty, it never notices you.

So you may ask yourself, why do I long so much for a connection with such beauty, yet my desire to be in it, to be with it and to fully experience it’s majesty, is never fulfilled?

Well maybe the most blunt answer is that the sunset has no life and therefore you can never have such a relationship with it. But if we take a moment to think about this concept called, “longing”, we can look at an everyday phenomenon such as hunger. When you feel hungry, it does not mean that your hunger will be satisfied. But this hunger can serve as an indication that an emptiness can be filled. In this case, some food would do the job.

That is why I am asking you to talk to me about the spirit. Benny Hinn testified in his book, Good morning Holy Spirit, about a particular kind of joy and satisfaction, upon receiving the spirit of God, that came to him from the inside-out.

We humans think so great of ourselves. We think that monetary success and the ability to buy things to satisfy our desires is the key to achieving enjoyment and contentment.

I disagree. The book of Genesis tells us that God made the body of man from the clay if the Earth. He then went on to breathe his spirit into the flesh and that gave man life. We are sensory people here on Earth. We touch, we see, we hear, we take joy into our bodies from the outside-in. How sad.

What about that particular part of us which gives us life? What about the spirit? As long as we remain content with satisfying our urges and senses, I do not believe we are actually living life, but merely sensing. Because life came through the spirit, I think it should be safe to say that the only time a person can say, “I am living”, and not merely alive, is when we begin to find that satisfaction which comes from the inside-out, from the fulfillment of those desires which are pleasurable to the spirit, not the flesh.

The book of Hebrews tells us that everything that is seen comes from the unseen. God and Heaven and the spiritual world is unseen. The spirit is a foreigner on the Earth. That is why the spirit always longs for the heavenly things. That is why a deprived spirit will look to the sunset, which serves as a symbol of heavenly beauty. The spirit longs to know the heavenly, in the hopes that it may one day be reunited with the Glory of its true home.

Then the Christian Bible quotes that man Jesus admitting in Matthew 7:23 “away from me, I never knew you” is what he will say to a spirit which never fulfilled that aspect of relationship with the one who first breathed it into the body of man.

Then, at that moment, the beauty of that sunset which you so longed to experience, to harness, to kiss, to get that notice, the bliss…that will fade away. And woe to me…if that be my fate, may I take up my place in eternal decay.