Falling is best.

Love

A wish upon a shooting star, a wish to walk upon the clouds and see the gods in all their might.

A dream come true when he flew straight to the skies, up – up – and away he goes.

And there he was amongst the skies, so cold, less breath and no ground to stand.

And so, the first step he took to walk the clouds, and ZOOM! Down he goes towards the ground.

And down and down and down he falls. If only he knew that the clouds where none but air, the pictures that once were, are now no more. A dream come true, but dispair for misguided perceptions.

And so, down he fell, back to earth. If he survives, will he ever be able to live? His dreams shattered and beliefs sure to change – a genius turned to simpleton.

Falling seems to be his only hope. His screams screen his mind away from constant reflection. The sky was the limit…they said you only have to dream it. And now he’s touched the skies and seen the clouds, can we say that he achieved his goals?

Will he die a young legend? The first man to take a step on the clouds, even if it meant that reality brought him down? Or will he survive to continue a long life unfulfilled?

Sometimes we have great hopes for our lives. Thinking outside of the box to dream the impossible. Somethings cannot be invented, they are only found.

If you had your wish only for a moment, would you be content if it only satisfied your own adventure, not turning into a milestone for all mankind to ponder and follow in your footsteps?

I wonder. As he continues to fall. I swear falling is his best bet.

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The Journey.

Love

The biggest mistake is thinking you have arrived. For this life is not a destination, but a forward moving journey of stimulation.

Discover your path, identify the next gate and get moving on. Love, laugh, Fear and Cry – this way you will know you’re alive.

Accept change, for it is inevitable. It is necessary even when it presents itself scary. Celebrate your victories, but do not neglect those of others. Mourn your failures, and remain open to support.

Yes, you will fall…you may still crawl. But when you get the courage to stand up again, the power is within you to take the next step.

Sometimes the roads will present a pit that seems made specifically for you to fall, but remember that you need to take a few steps backwards, then come back faster in order to make the jump!

Remember that everybody is on the journey. Our paths may intersect at any time, and some may even run parallel with yours forever. If you find me along the way, take me with you today… I will learn from you and offer my shoulder…

But if I start to break away, let me go – let her go, and him too… Our time has come to an end, but the journey goes on.

Feel free to be angry. But don’t hold a grudge. Forgive – even if you can never forget. Remember that anger is punishing yourself for another person’s mistakes.

Oh my Word

Love

Then Sandra said, I feel like I can’t say half the stuff I’m meant to. How could I when people get so offended so quickly?

I’ve got problems that I cannot even deal with because I have to keep them in. It’s too dangerous out here, everybody got their own beliefs these days. You can’t even cut the leafs without hurting someone’s god.

Stacey had a heart of gold and it grew onto her like a hard earned reputation, she said: oh my word, what have I done? Turned into little miss perfect and now I’m stuck in a pot at the end of the rainbow as a symbol for better days.

And I said, what’s with all the commotion? It sounds like revolution, it feels like condemnation just doesn’t do it no more, it’s kinda boring keeping score. I commit so much literary murders, my sins refuse to desist. I’m power hungry only from fear of weakness, or so I say to myself to relax the guilt from everything I’ve built that’s corrupted the self, the nation and dreams. I always hear their screams and taste their tears and see a long face for everyday in such a short life. I talk too much to myself but never say too much, unless it’s something to do with mischief, then I breathe a sigh of relief and cloud up my perceptions and keep no receptions.

Then you said, oh my word, you say a whole lot of nothing with a pinch of some good something. I’m lost in the beauty of meaningless art at the expense of a pure heart that’s been dragged through the dirt. I feel your pain, that’s what you said. You always say the right things and understand all my words like they were meant for your ears, and your mind to decipher.

Where is Home?

Love

“They say home is where the heart is, but my heart is wild and free. So am I homeless or just heartless?” – beautifully written in the lyrics of the song Home by English singer, Passenger.

For months these words have baffled my mind every time I sing along to the beautiful song, or even when they just pop up in my mind in the form of a question, joining the rest of my other restless thoughts which I have no answers to.

And just now I stumble upon this written piece by Nelson Mandela, it’s probably one that many people miss or simply choose to ignore. In his UNPUBLISHED autobiographical manuscript written in prison, Mandela wrote, “I regarded the township (Alexandra) as a home in which I had no specific house, and Orlando, where my wife and children still live, as a place where I had a house but no home.” – I read this in the book, NELSON MANDELA: conversations with myself.

The question of home is one that is constantly being banged onto me. After meeting somebody for the first time, or when you finally begin to get acquainted with someone you’ve known from afar, the question is commonly asked as a form of ice-breaker, or even cheap talk, with the questioner expecting an easy answer that can be brushed quickly under the memory’s carpet.

But I find the answer quite difficult. I am writing this from the home that is provided for me by my parents, together with them I share it with my little brother, our friendly helper, and occasionally my older sister who returns home in two year intervals from Cuba where she studies.

I myself also spend limited time in this home. I study in a province on the other side of the country and only return for a combined three months of vacation time throughout the year. The tricky part is that when we moved to this home, I was in my final year of high school in the South of Johannesburg… We now live in the East. I completed that school year living with my aunt and uncle who’s home was closer to my school.

All my childhood friends remained that side and between us lies an hour of multiple public transport rides and all the costs that come along with it. I never got the opportunity to roam these streets as a youngster, so I have no friends nearby to help me settle in.

And what about my school? I’m a full-time student in a province 6 hours away from home. My daily doings, my trusted bed, hobbies and habits… I have stapled them all over there. I know I was only meant to Learn and move on, but I’ve adjusted. That life that side is much slower and I prefer that pace. I arrived there as teen, and started maturing into this.

Some personal evaluation has revealed a restless heart. Quickly caught in illusion, and in a snap I’m disillusioned. Everything that I do always feels like a “phase”. I’m wondering if it’s a sign of a shallow foundation – I never dig deep enough or order too many bricks. Never learnt to put all my eggs in one basket, so I always run short even though I have enough. The Jack of all trades but master of none.

Where is Home? Is it where I sleep or where I dream? Is it the place I pay for or where mama keeps it free? Is it where I came from, where I am or where I’m going? I need answers for home because I need a place to store my hope, I need the grace that comes with being firmly rooted, where my pathway is always routed, a place where my family tree can be rooted.

South African summer Vacation!

Love

It’s summer time down here in South Africa. Maybe I’m a little too late with this post, but pehaps now you can plan a trip for next year.

We love our December, we go all in Ballin and whatever. If you are one to look for peace and space, this is not your place. We pick up the pace, and race throw the heat with some ice cold drinks in the cooler.

What could be cooler? Everybody fill your pool up coz we about to splash! Some young boys are about to smash, we spent all year working hard and saving up the cash.

But be warned. You’re gonna have to be careful on our roads, I’ve seen horrific accidents up to the bucket load. But hey, what’s life without a little risk? Get yourself down here and make sure you give me a call, we about to have a ball… Some footy, volley, we can do it all with your brand new beach ball.

Bikinis out, we’ve also got the summer bodies, yes all the hottest hotties, these mummies live for the noise so please don’t call up the police.

But no reason to worry, they definitely won’t show up in a hurry, they’ll be all over the roads looking to make some money.

Oops, I spent too much time on the internet, it’s time to get back to the party! As for you, I think it’s time to change your plane ticket, come down here quick before accommodation runs out. We’ve got Durban with the warm Indian Ocean, Cape Town is the best place for you snow bunnies – I’m talking about whoever is afraid of too much heat, because these currents come straight from Antarctica. And for the city Boys who love the night life, the fast lane and popping champagne, I suggest you come over to my home city, Joburg, the gold city – we’ve got it all right here so don’t let me hear nobody asking about anywhere else.

Has anybody done it?

Love

At 22 I stand firm as a product of the Era of the Television. That is the time just before the current state of Internet-dominence. The age of the couch potato and the Glory Days of Hollywood and all her by-products.

One of the most famous themes that prevailed in this time was the dream of a young person who was in a rigid cycle of life, filled with too many undesirable features and the feeling of suppression, she decides that it’s time to live life by her own terms. Let’s now address her as our hero, but she can also be a dude…you know, male.

So our hero finds it fitting to escape her current world, I wonder if any of the movie and song writers would be able to answer as to where these Characters got so much courage. But yeah, as Carly Rae Jepsen sings, “Run away with me” – that is the motto. Find somebody you love, somebody to share the good times, the bad, and the desperate… We will go through it together, maybe because I’d be too scared to do it alone, but it would also be so much more beautiful that way hey?

Even today, it’s run over into the internet age because I’m pretty sure I heard similar lyrics on a song I heard on YouTube. My friend suggested it for me, I wonder if she is like me and actually pays attention to the words that are being spoken. I wonder if she would also be willing to run away from it all. Well probably not with me, but maybe if I actually do it, she would follow suite and have me as an example. Yes, approval. That’s one of the other themes of our age, and I’m no different, I need it just as much as I need that selfie whenever I’m at the beach.

But honestly speaking, has anybody ever done it? That is, run away from a secure life, that job and the responsibilities that quickly follow just on time to keep you trapped in the system, you’re never gonna get out!

Well I would like you to know that I am going to actually take that step. I am going to find out for the rest of us if it is actually possible. I am going to suffer the embarrassment on your behalf, make it a little easier for anybody else that may feel the same way at a latter stage. I don’t need much from the world, just wish me luck, wish my fate upon me, let me be and be and be.

It can happen to me?

poetry

I just don’t think anybody could be this wrong and still think it’s so right. Surely there has to be something there that can be real? Surely if I hold on it will eventually reveal?

But wow, it’s actually me whom the tables have turned against. I guess you can only make Art out of it for so long until it overpowers your Heart, until you have to play the part, giving up a life of reason to follow your gut.

But how? Did we swear to our promises too soon? Is it God or karma, or whatever it is out there that’s such a sucker for drama. That made me a dreamer, got me on the roller-coaster of life and damn I’m a screamer, I’m having a good time, scared, hopeful and pushing adrenaline so that when I die and they ask me what I took from life, I’ll show them more than a handful.

But I’m going out to see the sun, hopefully fear will see me coming and run. I hate always being reminded that this thing called life ain’t fun, as if I haven’t already been burned by that flame. It’s such a shame, so much beauty and mystery left untouched, it’s actually so beautiful that such a life is as pure as the morning dew giving life to the ignored blades of the grass and all her dependents… Could it be that I too am as precious as the morning dew? Only to be enjoyed by the willing few? Of course it would be better if the world knew, but the world is often blinded to anything true.

Make some time to Mourn.

art, poetry

Controversy follows me like Fall after Summer. My tongue runs out of Truth and all I’m left with are yesterday’s Lies looking for back up in today’s battles.

When we were younger it was nothing but protocol to drink some fake alcohol, pretending to be drunk as we wobbled our way onto the floor with jeers and laughs, it was all in good cheer.

Now it’s protocol, pretending to laugh while we wobble towards the alcohol in the cabinet, or maybe the refrigerator, or possibly my desk where I had a few sips for inspiration when last night I had the urge to call up some friends and forget about the missus, thinking, one last time and I swear I won’t miss this.

Oh now Thomas has got a new mistress and we’re gonna have to keep the secret from Betty, what a pity – but remember that one time she was being super petty, wouldn’t let us use the computer as if her last name was Qwerty.

Well what goes around comes around, I hope I can convince myself that I made the right choice when considering everything that I could lose, your love was never an option. I mean your love was ever on auction, I simply tried to take action, almost followed my passion but they told me I’d lose my pension… Oh what a lesson, I hope my children will pay attention when I warn them that before daylight there is dawn, which comes after the darkness of the night when each of us has to make some time just to mourn all the dreams that we didn’t close our eyes to see, all the lips we didn’t move in to kiss and all the ignorance that made life so bliss.