Out of the Blue.

It’s too real out here, I can’t explain. And even worse, I can’t escape. It’s a different kind of pain. I’m in bed all day, yet my body still functions – it just seems to have run out of battery.

I quickly grew out of Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy in my younger years. That stuff simply wasn’t true. But now here we are straight out of the blue, are you trying to tell me that my dreams aren’t too?

I’m not talking about the dreams formed when our eyes are closed, in the dark night… No, I’m talking about the dreams we see when we look at the world with wonder, the belief that we’d always make it through the thunder, I thought the world would offer a soothing hug which I’d hide under.

Call it naive… I actually believed that’s what would happen because we are all “so special”, believing that we are really “the future”… I must have missed something in the finer print, or maybe I ignored a hint, but really I could never have thought that dispair, frustration and hopelessness would be invited to this party.

I cant fall asleep now with too much in my head. I need to dose off soon if I’m going to have productive day tomorrow. Even this writing thing can start off so promising, but now I literally have to come up with a satisfactory ending, make sure I leave no room for thought, just so I can have an easy mind and focus on counting sheep and catching sleep. And when this is over I’ll pro a ly go through it all over again while chasing Jeep, all in the name of finding a place in this world that I can keep.

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