To know or No to Know?

Going through mid-life crisis in his early twenties because the thought of waiting that long weighs too heavy on his heart.

Set the mind a little less from expectation, do away with ambition here and now in the ignorance of youth. Maybe when the time comes, he will have learnt to accept that life has it’s own plans, written on the walls of eternity – so should he discover at age forty that love does not last forever, that life is not sweets and roses, maybe it would do him a world of good to have prepared ahead.

But what’s the danger of planning? What’s the cost of trying to take control of your own fate – for better or for worse?

Remember the King who got the prophecy that his son would kill him and marry his widow? The King binds the infant’s feet and asks for his killing. A servant leaves the boy on a mountain top to die, but he is found by a Shepard who raises him as his own.

Many years later, the boy also receives the same prophecy of his fate. Out of fear of hurting his family he sets out until he one day finds himself in battle with the King, whom he kills and whose widow then he marries…only to later find that the prophecy has been fulfilled. This is the story of Oedipus.

And now I’m so afraid to continue writing this, for fear of opening a door of questions to which I would have to suffer from a lack of answers, or maybe from the pain and suffering I’d have to go through in the journey of discovery.

I guess this post is now damned to a change of plot, from what it was to this. There is no value to knowledge without appreciation. If I cared about you so much to “feel” your pain, we would both get stuck in weeping.

I’m starring doing at the barrel of the loaded gun, where any further exploration of the functions of the trigger will offload a deadly bullet to my face…

And so I decide not to seek knowledge, nor wisdom, and hope I will do as I am told in hopes that one day somebody with the right answers will bring me back… Only this time, with a purpose, with something that is actually mine to lose, with a sin which I would actually be responsible to pay for.


  1. By knowledge or wisdom, do you mean the occult or something predictive? If broader than this, please look at my latest post. I just got done saying the opposite. I hope you were figurative about the gun, dude.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ey Rob. I guess in my context as a University student, swimming in study loan debts… Let’s just add that I’m in a 3rd world country… The tree of knowledge will have to bear some fruits

        Liked by 1 person

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