It came to a point when I realised that nobody was actually listening. Five years later at gatherings or some random reunion, I became accustomed to the melodies on the beat of your chuckles saying, “When he talked, we just nodded and he’d go on, didn’t even realise that we wasn’t really listening” …hahaHaaA!
If I bore you so much, you could have just told me. I could have become a writer much sooner. But I’m here now, got an audience and they find no offence in my rumbling.
Instead they say, “So young you are, yet so wise beyond your years” …thank You, but really what else is there for me to do?
There’s no mandatory military service to put me in, no sustainable work on offer…I’m lucky to have this privilege of tertiary education, just trying to avoid getting stuck with minimum wage in a spicy downtown butchery.
Ironic because I wound up simply in a different skin-type of butchery. The discounted special of the day is your sense of self-worth and long-term health. The only thing I’ve got going for me is my appeal, that’s why I’ll do whatever it takes to appear grounded and clear of any upheaval. I’m so afraid of getting chopped, swept away and getting cropped out of pictures, and missing out on the newest cocktail mixtures…because this is the stuff that really matters really – much more than career fixtures and future whatnot…
I’m not even wise actually. It hurt me a little when I realised that. I believe wisdom to be the ability to discern and make decisions that will produce positive by-product. As for me, I am able to see the writing on the wall, yet consciously fail to apply the element of conduct. “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC“.
That’s a proper kick in the gut kind of character flaw ain’t it? Where’s Shakespeare when you need him? Maybe he would have been able to make all of these at least worthy of being a successful life failure story when I’m dead. But there is no Shakespeare, and my flaws still exists, so I’ll just have to be that guy who goes through the entirety of life in mid-life crisis from a lack of Will Power.
Started so sweet, but now sour. You are a sower and that is what you’ll reap. Life is no cheap thrill I can assure you – even peace will pressure you. Generations will measure you on how many graduations ushered You. And I’m not talking about degrees on paper, no, life has set us all up for a class or two…and her curriculum tests you before giving the lesson.
Imagine that. Imagine loving….oh no…that’s surely a story for another day. A story for a time when I will have some real answers maybe…