I couldn’t stand being rejected, so I rejected. I couldn’t bear the weakness, so I suppressed. I couldn’t risk being cheated so I cheated first.
The truth is a tough pill to swallow but it heals the wounds that the eyes cannot see and the flesh prefers not to feel. The lies are so comforting, not taking the pain away but turning me to another direction and wheeling me further away from the pain of having your life-long dreams lying slain in plain sight, all that little boy called “me” wanted to do was board a plane for the first time and fly off to see Spain.
Growing up afraid of the dark and now I’m so dark deep inside where the sun don’t shine, until the day when the devil says “now you’re mine” and doctor’s flashing that light into your intestine concluding your autopsy – “too much wine”, your death is nothing devine and your mama is left to whine over your graduation picture captioned “The world is mine”.
The truth hurts, that means your happiness is a lie and that’s why you’re so offended every time God enters the conversation, telling you that he knows the drill – the devil just wants to kill – and steal – destroy. If you’re looking for some muscle you’ve got to lift some real weights. And if you’re looking for knowledge you’ve got to read some real books – Oh if you’re looking for some joy you’ve got to seek the real you.
The comfort zone is a prison cell, a rotting hell – leave some bread there for a week and you will tell, do the same with some cheese and you could sell. Some billion people out in the world and I chose to live in a shell, I can’t take the criticism but I need their love to fill a “me” museum big enough to rival the colosseum. And if somebody threatens to dent my pride, I’ll run him over and film it for the world to see him.
I told you I’m afraid of rejection so I came up with my own objection of everybody and everything and there was no exception until it became a real obsession which turned out to be a sad reflection – that I’ve become the very thing that I feared and hated and now my childhood dream to change the world is looking outdated and I might not ever get to shout out a loud and proud, err …”Mama I made it!”.